Swirling storm inside

And thus another birthday end in heartbreak. Worst thing is that I knew that it would be like this...my family want everything be like previous xmases, its so boring! Nothing happens, noone visits... I didnt get the cake I originally planned for and had to make a last minute change to the whole idea and then make it myself only to have it get called ugly by my sis. I know I am not a cake baker but it didnt look bad! And instead of getting just pure money instead of presents they gave me chocolate and stuff I dont want/need...I need money so I can go to America and Disney Land, but mom dont seem to get that we need to save if we are to go there, nop she dont get it. She actually went to Dubai earlier this december, just because it poped up cheaply! What if we wont be able to go to america now just because she haaaad to go on that trip! And why dont they pick up the hint that whenever we talk of chocolate I say "No, not chocolate! I am soooo tired of it!" Seriously, just a handfull of cashew nuts and I am more pleased than with a bag of chocolate. Why so hard to consider what I want or ask? All I want is some consideration to how I feel...Noone else have to give presents on their birthdays, I am the only one who have to and I dont even get to decide what food we should have...


And online....Well I have gotten a lot more greetings than I thought I would considering I havent meantioned that my bday is on the 24th but...not so much presents...about 4 art pieces (mostly sketches) and though I adore them and I am truly grateful to have  gotten anything at all, I cant help but feel a sting of jealousy when I saw the artist of the pony "Glittering Cloud" list 32 birthday pieces she had gotten...

So sorry for ranting but I am not feeling emotionally stable right now...