Sakuyamon

There are still some unsold pokekwamis, which you can still buy. I cant send them out at the moment, since I still cant sit infront of my computer, but I can send them once Im better. It might take time untill I can upload them for you, but I dont want you to feel locked. I got my phone so atleast I still got internet access.

Also...I want to say thank you to everyone who is sending me well wishes and try to support me in any manner. It means a lot. Im sorry I cant respond to each message, but you all know how rough it is at the moment.

I never knew how much it would hurt yo get an operation, or how much it would hurt to get stabbed...like your brain knows it should hurt but it cant contextualize it since you never experienced it before. This is really gonna change movies for me...Ill be even more in awe of people who get stabbed/crushed bones but continue anyway.

This experience also set me harder on a conviction I had earlier... nobody should do these sort of operations unless ones life is on the line.

Gah fudge... just got a call from the nearest hospital saying my blood values are low due to iron. So they want to load me with iron. Again.

I would be fine with it if it wasnt for that I just came out of surgery. I have used the thyroid meds, taken extra iron suplements and i got bags of blood last time i had a surgery... did this surgery mess with my blood? Did they replace any blood during the surgery? I dunno.

Atleast it wasnt the same stress as the first time i got anemia. The appointment is next thursday so i hope the pain is fading by then...

It hurt quite a bit. Im waiting for nurses to take off the items they put on my arms and tell me its ok to get dressed.

The doctors told me they will try to save the healthy ovary if possible, so im also waiting for them to tell me if they did.

This is the last night before my cancer surgery. I am scared. Not so much of the operation itself...but the consequences. I am already sick and tired of the thyroid gland meds... I dont want more meds. And Im scared that by removing the healthy ovary, Ill be swapping the potential cancer for another, because long term use of estrogen can cause cancer too. I already got a higher risk for it because my grandmothers got cancer (they were over 60 but non the less) and my aunt got cancer in her 40s too.

Im also scared of having to stay alone at the hospital again. I didnt like the previous time I had to do that. I couldnt sleep at all. I hate nights that I cant sleep. Specially when Im far from home and all alone. Sure, Ill have my phone but it will still be a drag.

It feels so dark and its so hard to find a light.

The title of "Cancer Survivor" better give me extra points on my resume, next time I apply to a job...

Good news is that the xray show the cancer hasnt spread anywhere else.

Bad news is that the doctors want to remove my uterus and ovaries. So Ill end up in menopaus. I know its better than loosing my life, but Ill still be loosing a bit of myself...and really dont wanna deal with all the flipping medicines that I will need...

The operation is on next tuesday. After the operation Ill be on sick leave for 3 weeks so that my body can heal...Im not supposed to run, jump around, or carry heavy objects, yet I also have to be in motion and not sit/lay around too much either to avoid blood clots. I think the best solution to help with that is to volunteer a bit on the secondhand I was before. I can be somewhat in motion with that and they have lighter work. This will mean that there will be more delays to commissions as I cant work like normal. I will need to do shorter sessions when I can and isnt in too much pain.

So Ill try to concentrate on doing commissions this week... It is only one week so I dont know how much I will be able to accomplish but Ill try to finish some. If you havent recieved your commission after 3 weeks have passed after next tuesday, feel free to remind me. Its not easy to remember everything when one need to deal with stuff like this.